you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
