i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
