I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
