i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
