i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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