ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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