and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
