He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
