I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
