...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
