why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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