whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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