How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
