At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
