She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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