I think I am morally bankrupt
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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