those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
