That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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