every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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