I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
