If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
