I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
