So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
