I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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