My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
