we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
