like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
