All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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