You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
