i was born a porn star she said
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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