Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
