she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
