there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
