My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
