her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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