hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
