You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
