After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
