No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
