these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
