tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just forgot I was standing up.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
