it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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