Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
