I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
