So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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