Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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