if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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