watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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