I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
