She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
