i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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